I need a quick $20 million, but I have no discernable skills.
I do, though, have a passing interest in the weather on any given day, and it turns out that the ability to discuss the weather with the right people is extremely valuable.
I learned this fact by accident, although if I play my cards right I can advertise on social media how you, too, can make a mint by discussing the weather with Russian and Ukrainian oligarchs. I hear that instructing others on how to implement valuable business plans can make you a lot of money.
I have long thought that Hunter Biden was a degenerate drug addict whose sole purpose in life was to bang hookers while doing some blow. This, it turns out, underplays one of his marketable skills: meteorology.
Russian billionaire Yelena Baturina wired $3.5 million to one of Hunter Biden’s companies. And then — voila! — she found herself at dinner with the Vice President of the United States. https://t.co/39HilhFfUn
— Byron York (@ByronYork) August 9, 2023
Joe Biden, too, has a fondness for discussing the weather. He even has become something of an expert on the subject, showing up on The Weather Channel to bloviate on every subject under the sun, including illegal immigrants, light bulbs, climate change, lead pipes, and heat waves.
Biden, you see, knows that all these things are related, due to his weather-related expertise. The Weather Channel has a gold mine in Joe Biden.
“Is it the responsibility of the U.S. to protect migrants who might be fleeing extreme weather in their countries?”
Biden: “We’re replacing every single lead pipe in America!” pic.twitter.com/LYEjmsTLJ0
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) August 9, 2023
Lead pipes. Migrants. Light bulbs.
Imagine those conversations with the oligarchs. No wonder they paid big bucks to get on the phone with Vice President Biden. His weather knowledge is simply encyclopedic. I expect that if we looked hard enough there are projects all across the Slavic countries ripping out lead pipes, simply because Joe knows the connection between cumulus clouds and pipes.
This, my friends, is a possible business opportunity for all of us. I know I am all in, hoping that Hunter can sell me a list of weather-fascinated oligarchs just dying to get more insights and perhaps even a better forecast for tomorrow’s temperature and the chance of precipitation.
How do I know this is a surefire way to make money?
Devon Archer directly contradicted Biden on his family’s “business” dealings. The mainstream media ignored it.
Total coverage in primetime on ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, and MSNBC: 3 minutes and 55 seconds.
Total coverage on the ABC, CBS, CNN, and NBC Sunday shows: None. pic.twitter.com/b5RPXSgdyh
— GOP (@GOP) August 7, 2023
Every MSM news source assures me that none of these oligarchs or Chinese Communist Party officials who were invited to speak with the Vice President would possibly have paid for influence with Joe Biden. Biden is as clean as the driven snow, so all that sweet sweet cash had to have been forked over for no reason other than a better weather forecast or insights into lead pipes’ influence on extreme weather.
Since Joe Biden’s proximity to the presidency had nothing to do with the flow of money, why not get in on the weather conversation action? I can speak more coherently than Joe or his son, whom Burisma owner Mykola Zlochevsky called stupid and dumber than his dog.
If Zlochevsky is willing to spend over $80,000/month to have weather-related conversations with Hunter he surely would drop a few pennies my way to get my insight into weather trends.
…Archer said that the Biden brand was Joe Biden and that was what was being sold. It was clear that they were not looking for Hunter. Burisma owner Mykola Zlochevsky reportedly said that Hunter “was stupid, and his dog was smarter.” https://t.co/PkxN1ZnVst
— Jonathan Turley (@JonathanTurley) August 3, 2023
I may not be the smartest guy in the room (actually, I am, since I am here alone), but I know I am smarter than Zlochevsky’s dog, and I can bone up on cloud types pretty fast. If Hunter can bloviate on the weather and get paid, and Joe Biden can ramble on about cloud cover, I know I can provide a better service and charge a bit less to undercut the competition.
Maybe ask for only $10 million? I could live with that since I don’t spend money on hookers and blow and I really don’t need an expensive sports car.
My one fear about going entrepreneurial with this idea is that it is so easy to do. Lots of people can talk about the weather, and there are small talk experts who can run circles around me. But then again, Joe and Hunter are no great shakes at talking coherently and look at how well they did.
What do you think? Is this a viable business plan?
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